


Broken Homes

by hugsandpuppies



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 11:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9722102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hugsandpuppies/pseuds/hugsandpuppies
Summary: If half of the marriages in America end in divorce, why should things be any different in Neptune?Season 1 AU one-shot wherein everyone is NOT staying together for the kids. Or the money. Or what-have-you.





	

“Hey, man!” The shaggy-haired dude from first period - the one with the affinity for terrifically offensive jokes - gesticulated enthusiastically. “Over here!”

So the new kid in school strode confidently across the courtyard to drop his small pizza box onto a table full of the young, rich and boring. He slouched on a bench near the doofus and was poised to quip when a shriek rung out. Everyone turned to look at two incredibly hot blondes bickering right outside the school doors.

Displaying the bare minimum level of interest, he took a bite of his pizza, swallowed, and threw out a question to the table at large. “What’s up with them?” 

Across from him a brunette with perfect pink lips chuckled.

“Ooh, guys, I think the new kid needs to hear The Tale of Woe,” she said, a not-so-subtle current energizing every word.

“Ugh, please,” spit the uptight, curvy bottle-blonde sitting next to her. “Like _that_ family needs any more attention.”

“You’re so right. That story is _such_ old news,” agreed yet another blonde. This one had about as much life force as a week-old baked potato.

The doofus threw his arm around her and laughed. “Whatever. You guys are just jealous he asked about them and not you. Let her tell it. You know she does it right.”

The brunette graced the doofus with a tiny but regal nod, then turned to focus completely on her captive audience.

“Have you heard of Jake and Celeste Kane?” she asked.

The name was vaguely familiar. He racked his brain to come up with something relevant. “Uh…computer guy?”

She rolled her eyes and swiftly corrected him. “He invented streaming video when we were in 3rd grade.”

He looked her over. Thoroughly. “Funny, I didn’t take you for a computer geek.”

“Gee, thanks,” she huffed and pointed to herself. “Bona fide band geek. And proud of it. But if you’re going to live in this town, you should probably learn a thing or two about our beloved hero and his business. As in _Kane Industries_ – you know, the big glass building downtown?  Long story short, Jake made _millions_ for people around here. All was well and good…sort of…until about four years ago. Jake’s assistant fell _madly_ in love with him. Oddly enough, he rejected all of her _many_ propositions. And they say she was _not_ lacking in creativity.” She raised a sly eyebrow.

“Wow. And here I thought happily married men were a myth straight from Sophocles," he said mildly.

“And folks, he gets it in one!” she snickered. “He was not-so-happily-married, after all. And the assistant-slash-woman scorned was _very_ happy to inform Celeste (and everybody else in town) about Jake’s affair with one Mrs.  Lianne Mars, the county _sheriff’s_ wife. Now, speculation is that Celeste would have turned a blind eye to the whole humiliating fiasco for the sake of, you know-” she prompted, one palm upturned.

“The millions?” he smirked.

She nodded. “Right. But here’s the thing. It turns out that Jake and Lianne were high school sweethearts.  Prom king and queen,” she groaned, pretending to gag. “Even today, no one knows exactly how long they were sleeping together. But smart money says that they were on-and-off-and-on-again for over a _decade_.The Mars kid even had to get a DNA test. Luckily-”

“Well, that depends on how you look at it,” interjected a girl who was barely discernible from the background.

The brunette shot the bland one a dark look. “Obviously. _As I was saying_ , luckily - or unluckily - Sheriff Mars was definitely the baby daddy. Still, Celeste was mortified. At that point, Jake figured he had nothing left to lose. He filed for divorce, moved into a condo, and guess who came to live with him that same day?" A tiny pause for drama's sake. "Yep, _Missus_ Mars; she of the unexplainable yet unwavering appeal.”

“She’s, like, maybe a six, six-and-a-half,” the doofus spoke up authoritatively. “Must be willing to get really down and dirty between the sheets.”

“Gross.” The storyteller wrinkled her nose. “Moving on. Naturally, Celeste got THE best lawyers. She ended up wresting 49% of the company away from Jake. I honestly believe that woman could wring blood from a stone. In any case, she made it her business to thwart her ex’s every move. Wouldn’t _dream_ of selling her shares to him, or anyone, for that matter. Evidently Jake decided enough was enough. Out of the blue one day he called up a former employee who had some sort of patent dispute against the company. Jake sold his shares to this Abel Koontz guy for a fraction of what they were worth, moved out to Silicon Valley to do some sort of consultation work for Microsoft, and supposedly is now living in wedded bliss, even with not-so-many millions. Meanwhile, due to in-fighting in the company, Kane Industries is losing money hand-over-fist, while across town, good old Sheriff Mars lost his bid for reelection. I guess the town lost some confidence in the man’s crime-solving capabilities after learning there was a 15-year-long affair going on right under his nose. So, that’s the tragedy. Pretty typical stuff for Neptune, really.”

“Fascinating,” said the new kid - begrudging, but sincere. “But what’s any of that got to do with the tussling blondes?”

“Oh, didn’t I say?” Laughter threatened to bubble up out of the captivating brunette. She pointed. “ _That_ , my friend _,_ is Lilly KANE. And _that_ is her beloved step-sister, the one and only Veronica MARS.”

At that she stood and leaned over to whisper in his ear, “Try not to get caught in the crossfire.”

With a wink, she sauntered across the courtyard to a less-prestigious table where a girl with blue-streaked hair and a guy in a letterman jacket were already conversing. Moments later she was joined by the blonde with the cute little pigtails, who didn't seem at all daunted by the haranguing she had just endured.  Story girl leaned in to tell the blonde something, and they both laughed as they glanced his way.

He might have continued to stare if his view hadn’t been suddenly blocked by a glittery designer sweater. His keen sense of observation noted that it seemed to be stretched nearly to the breaking point.

“Hi, new boy,” came a voice from somewhere above the sweater. “See something interesting?”

He did. He did indeed. _  
_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading my first published work! I've been reading and writing (and obsessing over) Veronica Mars fic for three years now, but I can't seem to finish any of my long-ish stories, so I'm going to bite the bullet and put this one out there. In my mind it works as a fun little one-shot, even though it's mostly prelude. I would love to expand it to a (short) multi-chapter LoVe fic but my track record isn't great so I make no promises. ;)
> 
> Anyway, it occurred to me recently that there seem to be way more long-suffering marriages in Neptune than there are elsewhere in the US. Dick Sr. and Betina are the only divorced parents I recall. [Alicia and Nathan don't count since 1) their divorce happened outside of Neptune, and 2) Alicia is the odd parent out in the VM-verse, since she tends to do ethical and rational things which actually benefit her children.] Would our lovable heroes have been better off if their parents didn't stick it out through thick and thin? Obviously I have some more pondering to do on this subject...


End file.
